Pride Angel

A sperm donor and lesbian couple from Ontario Canada who have been fighting over custody of their two year old son, have suddenly settled their case, after months of litigation and shortly before a scheduled trial.

The man had signed an agreement that he would have nothing to do with his genetic offspring. But he had second thoughts after the baby was born, felt the biological mother had reneged on her part of their deal and asked the courts to recognize him as the father, providing liberal access. The suit, whose parties cannot be named under the terms of a publication ban, has now been effectively withdrawn.

‘It is always better for litigants to come to a resolution on their own’

“This is certainly the right outcome for this loving, bonded and stable family,” Michelle Flowerday, the couple’s lawyer, said in an emailed statement. “It is always better for litigants to come to a resolution on their own, as opposed to having one imposed upon them by the court.” The fact that the courts will not rule on the dispute, however, leaves a gap in the law in Ontario and other provinces, she said. There is a growing national movement to make clear that donating sperm does not equate to being a parent, but only B.C., Alberta and Quebec have enshrined the idea in their legislation, said Ms. Flowerday.

The donor and his lawyer could not be reached for comment.

Growing numbers of children are being born in Canada as a result of in-vitro fertilization and other forms of “assisted” reproduction. When donations are obtained anonymously from sperm banks, and in the few provinces with laws that directly address the issue, parenthood is generally uncontested.

Where couples and single people make arrangements with sperm donors they know, however, the rights of the various parties remain largely unresolved. The northern Ontario dispute boasted the most clear-cut set of facts of any to reach the courts, making it an ideal legal testing ground. A trial was scheduled for this summer.

The donor was a high-school acquaintance of the biological mother, and initially agreed to bear a child for him, as well, if he agreed to provide his sperm. The actual agreement he signed, though, did not mention that part of their arrangement.

He went to court after the boy was born, saying that he had felt pressured by the mother and that she now appeared unwilling to have a baby for him. But then, at a meeting last week, the parties agreed to a declaration that the two women are the child’s parents and the donor is not his father, according to an order issued by Justice Gregory Ellies of the Ontario Superior Court.

‘I don’t think anybody wants to be a test case’

The document also includes a restraining order preventing him from having contact with the child or the two women. In exchange, though, he and his parents have the right to one meeting of at least an hour in a public place, with an agreed-upon third party observing. The donor and his parents “may not initiate physical contact” with the boy, and cannot take photographs or video. As well, the man and his parents are barred from identifying themselves as the child’s father or grandparents, said the order.

“I don’t think anybody wants to be a test case,” noted Fiona Kelly, a University of British Columbia law professor who studies the field, about the settlement.

The lack of a ruling, however, means continued ambiguity in the majority of provinces that lack laws like one recently enacted in B.C., she said. That legislation says being a sperm donor does not in itself make someone a father.

Article: 13th April 2013 www.news.nationalpost.com

Read more about using a known sperm donor in the UK at www.prideangel.com

A recent study called into question the ability of gay parents to raise well-rounded children, but the report has been widely blasted as biased, manipulative, and agenda-based. Now the American Psychological Association has stepped in to reiterate its belief that gay parents are just as good as straight parents.

"On the basis of a remarkably consistent body of research on lesbian and gay parents and their children, the American Psychological Association and other health, professional, and scientific organizations have concluded that there is no scientific evidence that parenting effectiveness is related to parental sexual orientation," the APA announced on its website earlier this week. "That is, lesbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive and healthy environments for their children. This body of research has shown that the adjustment, development, and psychological well-being of children are unrelated to parental sexual orientation and that the children of lesbian and gay parents are as likely as those of heterosexual parents to flourish."

The APA was responding to the "New Family Structures Study," which called into question the effectiveness of gay parenting. But according to several equality groups, the study is majorly flawed.

According to a joint press release from the Human Rights Campaign, Freedom to Marry, Family Equality Council, and the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, the paper was "written by rightwing author Mark Regnerus (of the Department of Sociology and Population Center at the University of Texas at Austin) and funded in large part by the antigay Witherspoon Institute." It "makes a number of claims about negative outcomes for children raised by gay and lesbian parents. However, for the most part, the paper doesn't even look at same-sex couples raising a child together in a longterm committed relationship."

Many of the study's children considered to be raised in gay households were not being raised by parents in a committed same-sex relationship, whereas many of the children in heterosexual households had two married parents. Children of parents who had at one time in their lives been in a same-sex relationship were considered to be part of a "gay household." The bias of the report has sparked much ire. The equality groups point out the study's major funder, the Witherspoon Institute, is connected to antigay groups like Opus Dei and the National Organization for Marriage.

It's no surprise that people and groups connected to NOM and the Mormon Church jumped on the findings.

Article: 14th June 2012 www.advocate.com

Read more about gay and lesbian parenting at www.prideangel.com

The Independent newspaper are doing feature about same-sex parents and would love to speak to lesbian or gay couples who are bringing up children together.

It would be very straightforward - about what it's like at the school gates, other people's perceptions, whether attitudes are changing and also simple practical issues. It would be for a phone interview which could be done anonymously if you prefer.

If you can help at all please email: info@prideangel.com or alternatively contact us at Pride Angel for further information.

The piece is tied to a new newspaper that is coming out called Pink Parenting.

With modern life comes the modern family as many gay and lesbian couples seek to fulfill their biological needs of having a family. Pink Parenting is here to do just that.

Bringing you everything you need to start a family from surrogacy options, adoption and the legal aspects of being a modern family to what's the best stroller out there on the market.

Find out more about Pink Parenting magazine just visit: www.pink-parenting.com

For more information about sperm donation, using a known donor and gay parenting visit www.prideangel.com

There is no evidence that lesbians’ children are hurt or damaged by meeting their sperm donor fathers, a small study says.

The study, by researchers at the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands, used data from the US National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study.

Seventy-eight teenagers were studied, Reuters reports.

A third of the donors knew their offspring, just over a third were permanently anonymous and 18 could be contacted once the child turned 18.

Using questionnaires and interviews, the researchers found no difference in the mental health of teenagers who knew their fathers or did not.

Another study, by the University of Cambridge, interviewed 23 sperm and egg donors who all said they had positive experiences with meeting their offspring and most saw them regularly.

Both pieces of research were published in the journal Human Reproduction.

Article: 7th January 2011 www.pinknews.co.uk

For more information about finding a known sperm donor visit www.prideangel.com

With the recent good news that Elton John and David Furnish are celebrating the birth of their baby son, it brings to the attention same-sex families and how children who grow up to become young adults view their gay family upbringing.

Research has shown that same-sex parenting does not affect a child’s self esteem or well being, although it would be lovely to hear first hand, about people’s views and experiences. We would love to hear any feedback from any older children, young adults or adults regarding their views about how it has felt growing up as part of a gay family, the ups and downs or reactions from friends or family.

The Telegraph would like to run a news article about this subject area and would like any help regarding the views of adults raised by same-sex parents. They would treat any information received in a confidential and sensitive manner.

If you are able to help in any way, please contact Erika at Pride Angel for further information.

A lesbian couple who had conceived a child together through donor insemination at a UK clinic recently ended up in the High Court after their relationship broke down. Their dispute involved a ten-year-old child, and the issue was whether the non-birth mother (who the court had already given legal decision-making status as a parent) should be ordered to make financial provision for her child.

The story itself of course isn't that unusual - parents separate and divorce all the time and many end up in court arguing over contact or finances. What makes this case interesting is the family was created through fertility treatment and the partner pursued for maintenance was not the biological mother.

The court had to ask whether the lesbian non-birth mother was legally a 'parent' and - specifically - whether her full hands-on parenting involvement in her child's life was enough to make her financially responsible, even though she was not the biological mother.

The answer seems pretty straightforward from a moral perspective. The non-birth mother had been fully involved in her child's care and upbringing, had regular contact with her child, and had successfully (and not long before) applied to court for joint residence and parental responsibility. The law recognised her as a parent for the purposes of decision making and there was no legal father since the child was conceived with anonymous donor sperm.

The child would have only one parent (the birth mother) and considerably less financial security if the non-birth mother was not financially responsible. As the birth mother's lawyers argued in court, it would be 'grotesque' for the court to decide the non-birth mother should not have to maintain a child she had helped bring into the world and was actively parenting.

The law is not always fair. The rules on financial responsibility say explicitly only a legal 'parent' can be ordered to pay. These rules are more black and white than those on matters of contact and parental decision-making, where the family courts often have discretion to act in the best interests of a child.

The High Court ultimately decided it had no power to make the non-birth mother financially responsible, because she was not a biological parent nor otherwise a parent-by-law (she had not, for example, adopted the child). The courts' powers could be invoked to protect her contact and relationship with her child, but not to hold her financially responsible.

One peculiarity of the case is the non-birth mother would have full legal and financial responsibility if she was a man. Since 1991, the law has made special provision for fathers who conceive with donor sperm. They have the same rights and responsibilities as any other father, provided they are married or undergo fertility treatment with their partner. The law is designed to ensure fathers gain full status and recognition as parents, and to prevent them evading their financial responsibilities.

The same is now true for lesbian partners, but only for children conceived after April 2009. There was much fuss in 2008 when Parliament debated new legal rights for lesbian parents. Certain people said enabling a non-birth mother to be named on a birth certificate made it a statement of fiction not a record of fact, and was just political correctness. Yet this change made non-birth mothers legally and financially responsible for their children.

What this case shows is how important those legal changes are, not just for lesbian parents, but for their children. Birth certificates are not merely a record of biology, but are important documents which record legal parenthood status and responsibility. The changes to the law giving lesbian couples joint parenthood from conception benefit children, because they give them two parents who can be held legally accountable where they would previously have one.

The changes were not, however, retrospective. The children of lesbian couples conceived before April 2009 - like the child in this case - may continue to have a parent without legal status and responsibility, unless the family takes positive action to secure their legal position (which can be done through adoption).

It is a shame for this family that it took so long for the law to recognise not all parents through sperm donation are heterosexual and recent improvements only apply prospectively. Looking forwards, we should celebrate our modern fertility laws and their recognition of diverse modern families. We may be leading the world in allowing two mothers to be named on a birth certificate but, as this case shows, it ensures that children are better protected.

Article: by Natalie Gamble, Partner at Gamble and Ghevaert LLP www.gambleandghevaert.com

Lesbian? looking for a sperm donor or co-parent? visit www.prideangel.com

This is the birth certificate that leaves the father off the official record for the first time in nearly 200 years. It shows only a mother and a ‘parent’ – also a woman – for newly-born Lily-May Betty Woods. The baby was born to 38-yearold Natalie Woods. The parent named on the form is Miss Woods’s partner, 47-year-old Betty Knowles.

There is no mention of the father, or donor, as the couple prefer to call the anonymous man whose sperm provided half of Lily-May’s genes through IVF treatment. It is thought to be the first recorded birth to two lesbians since a recent change in the law. Birth certificates were introduced 170 years ago and have always recorded the mother and father, if known.

The 2008 Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act paved the way for them for the first time to record two mothers – to the dismay of many Christian groups and campaigners for traditional family values. Until the law changed same sex couples could not put both of their names down for a child conceived by a donor. But the Act meant that children conceived after April 1 last year to same sex couples are entitled to have a birth certificate listing ‘mother and parent’. Traditional male and female couples continue to have birth certificates that list ‘mother and father’. Lily-May was born weighing 7lb 8oz on March 31 in a birthing pool at the terrace home Miss Woods and Miss Knowles share with two cats in Brighton.

Brighton Register Office told them they were the first to record a birth under the new legislation. Miss Woods said she and Miss Knowles wanted to make ‘the historical moment’ public. The couple, who intend to have another child, have agreed that as Lily-May grows up she will call Miss Woods Mummy, while Miss Knowles will be ‘Mama B’.

They also say their employers have been ‘very understanding’. Miss Woods works for a Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender counselling service while Miss Knowles is a delivery driver. She has had two weeks of what is still known as ‘paternity leave’ and two further weeks of parental leave. The couple have been together for 15 years, are engaged and expect to have a civil partnership in the near future. Miss Woods said: ‘We knew we wanted a child and that we were going to be together for ever. The only option was either through a donor or adoption, but It felt important to me to have a biological child.’ The couple selected the father from a choice of four. The men’s names were not given to them, but they were told details about their medical history and that of their parents.

They spent around £7,000 on IVF treatment as gay couples are not entitled to it on the NHS. When Lily-May is 18 she will be entitled, if she wishes, to discover who supplied the sperm. Miss Woods said: ‘We don’t even think of him as a father. He’s a donor, not a father.’ As to whether Lily-May will lack a male role model, Miss Woods says they have many male friends. Lily-May has no contact with her grandparents on Miss Woods’s side as they do not accept their daughter’s sexuality. Miss Knowles’s parents have both died. But the couple say they count many older women among their friends who are already like ‘grannies’ to Lily-May. Miss Woods added: ‘A child needs unconditional love and that is what Betty and I offer Lily-May in spades.’

Read more: www,dailymail.co.uk

Read more about looking for a sperm donor

Lesbians are better at raising children than conventional couples, a senior member of the Government's parenting academy has said.

According to the annual British Social Attitudes Report, more than a third of people now believe same-sex parents are as good as heterosexual couples.

Stephen Scott, director of research at the National Academy for Parenting Practitioners, has said his research shows children from lesbian couples do better in life than the offspring of heterosexual couples. "Lesbians make better parents than a man and a women," Mr Scott told a meeting for the launch of think tank Demos. His controversial position draws backing from research that suggests children with two female parents are more aspirational than those with opposite-sex parents. Some studies also also shows children with lesbian parents are no more or less likely to have tendencies towards homosexuality.

Research at Birkbeck College, part of London University, and Clark University in Massachusetts suggests that same-sex couples make good parents because children cannot be conceived accidentally - parents must make an active decision to adopt or find a sperm donor. However, campaigners counter that fathers play an important part in family life and children have a right to get to know both of their biological parents.

Jon Davies, chief executive of the Families Need Fathers organisation, said: "Since all children will have a biological father the child has a right to know who that is. In most families where there will be a mother and a father, a father is needed to support them. But it is the quality of parenting that counts in the end regardless of the parents."

According to the annual British Social Attitudes Report, more than a third of people now believe same-sex parents are as good as heterosexual couples.

For lesbian couples, new rules allow the non birth mother to be named as the child’s other parent if the couple conceive through donor insemination or IVF together. Although the law change came into force on 6 April 2009, it only applies to children conceived after that date. The government has calculated that, allowing for some early arrivals, this means the soonest a child could be born under the new rules is 1 September 2009. Therefore from September registrars around the UK will be prepped and ready to register births showing two women as a child’s parents. Gay men conceiving with a surrogate mother will be able to obtain a birth certificate showing them both as parents, but that the changes for gay couples are coming into effect later. Gay men, like heterosexual couples, will have to apply to court for a reissue of the birth certificate after a surrogacy birth. They will be able to make such applications from 6 April 2010 although, unlike the new rules for lesbian couples, applications can be made for children born before the law changed. Pride Angel welcomes the changes to both the donor conception and surrogacy rules to cover gay and lesbian parents. The move represents an important step forward in recognising gay and lesbian families, and ensuring that two parents who commit to having a child together are both legally recognised as being responsible for that child.