Pride Angel

A downward fertility trend is occurring on the global front: women aren’t having enough children. Recent statistics place the Italian fertility rate at just 1.3, whereas the replacement rate is usually considered to be 2.1 children per couple.

Furthermore, 50% of Japanese women born in the 1970s are childless and many European countries face a 20% rate of childlessness in women in their 40s.

Some people may argue that the world population is out of control and that lower fertility is a good thing.

However, given the expansive socialist economic systems that control much of the free world, a population crunch could be devastating to maintaining healthy economies.

Mark Steyn recently wrote a piece in the National Review outlining the problems we face with a worldwide decrease in fertility.

His theory is that a decreased fertility rate will lead to the eventual collapse of social welfare. Most welfare systems rely on the young generations to support the medical and retirement costs of the older generations. Unfortunately, a system based on this pyramid scheme cannot be sustained if the older generations doesn’t replace its population.

Greece is a prime example of this effect where 100 grandparents have 42 grandchildren.

Given this bleak fertility outlook, many countries have implemented rewards, usually in the form of tax breaks, to promote procreation. However, results are usually minimal.

Of course, people have a right to make their own reproductive choices. But Chris & Wendy Jeub think the choice might be in flawed thinking. People who have children remember childlessness; the childless, however, don’t recall the alternative life with children.

Article: 27th March 2012 www.eivf.net

Single, lesbian, gay or infertile? looking for a donor? visit www.prideangel.com

MEN are being urged to pay more attention to their biological clocks as research shows those aged over 40 are at higher risk of having a child with autism and birth defects.

As the average age of Australian fathers continues to increase, reproductive health experts are calling for men to learn more about their fertility and the risks of older fatherhood.

Dr Karin Hammarberg, a researcher with the Victorian Assisted Reproductive Treatment Authority (VARTA), said that while most children are born healthy, large studies of parental age were starting to show higher rates of birth defects and autism in children born to men over 40.

The review also pointed to a Dutch study of 60,000 births which found children born to men over 40 were three times more likely to have autism and a US study of 5 million births which showed men over 50 had a 15 per cent higher chance of having a baby with birth defects including congenital heart disease and cleft palates.

Dr Hammarberg said research also showed men over 40 had much more trouble getting a woman pregnant and the rate of miscarriage doubled for women when their partner was over 45. The average time to pregnancy for men under 25 is just over 4.5 months but nearly two years for men over 40.

"Fertility talk is always directed at women and somehow men look like innocent bystanders," she said. "Men really need to know that their own age and health will affect their fertility, too."

Between 1990 and 2010, the median age of Australian fathers increased from 31 to 34 while more men in their late 50s and early 60s were becoming fathers. In 2010, 777 men aged 55 to 59 fathered a child, up from 674 in 2004 and 516 in 2000. The number of men in their 60s having babies has also increased from 226 in 2000 to 408 in 2010.

The Fertility Coalition, made up of VARTA, Andrology Australia, Jean Hailes for Women's Health and the Robinson Institute, will launch a website today to teach Australians about fertility. See yourfertility.org.au

Article: 26th March 2012 www.smh.com.au

Read more about fertility and check your sperm count at www.prideangel.com

Leaving London, pregnant and gay for the middle class suburban city of St Albans was a scary prospect. I thought I would be the only one. It was a far cry from South London.

I needn’t have worried though as I shortly found out I was not alone. Firstly, in my local NCT antenatal class you could have knocked me down with a feather when I realised there was another gay couple on our course (I had decided they must be sisters or friends). Secondly, I found a person called “marmite” posting on netmums looking for other lesbian families. Hurrah, I realised I was NOT alone and set about forming a support group using the online communities.

This group has grown from a first meeting in early 2009 in a local coffee shop to a fully fledged monthly meet up in my local Children’s Centre in St Albans and an associated yahoo group where we can “meet” online. I have made great friends, written articles and even been asked to help with a programme on same sex parenting for local radio (see same sex parenting show at www.itunes.apple.com

I want as many people as possible to be aware of this group for them if they are local(ish) to the area or to inspire them to start their own local group. I am grateful to Pride Angel in helping with this.

The St Albans (& surrounding area) gay parents' group is open to lesbian, bisexual, gay and transgender parents/ aspiring parents from all walks of life, no matter what their parenting route. We meet on the 2nd Thursday of the month at the Alban Way Children's Centre @ Marshalswick (on Sherwood Avenue, AL4) 3-6pm. The sessions are drop-in and a 50p donation is requested for refreshments. There is also a yahoo group www.groups.yahoo.com/stalbansgayparents

Article: by Clare Hancock, St Albans gay parents' group 26th March 2012

Read more about gay and lesbian parenting at www.prideangel.com

A mother who had a baby through a surrogate has launched landmark legal action for the right to paid maternity leave

Her employer refused to give her maternity leave, so she went to an employment tribunal. The woman, who has been allowed to remain anonymous by judges, was refused the leave by her employer when she became a mother. She is suing her employer, alleging sex and maternity discrimination, and has taken her case to the European Court of Justice (ECJ) to decide whether the British laws comply with European Union directives, which could force a change in the rules. The court is expected to make a decision later this year.

An estimated 70 women became mothers through surrogates last year and campaigners say they deserve the same rights as other women. Natalie Gamble, an expert in fertility law, said that only mothers who were pregnant or those who have adopted are entitled to take maternity leave under the existing rules, which left “a gap” in cases where mothers used surrogates. Stuart Walne, a spokesman for Surrogacy UK, a support organisation, said the rules created an added “trauma” for these women, who faced disputes over paid leave.

The woman started working as a midwife sonographer for her employer in July 2001. Her baby was born through a surrogate mother in August last year and the woman began breastfeeding the child soon after the birth, something that can be induced through hormone treatments and drugs. Her employer offered a career break, reduced hours and unpaid leave, but refused to give her maternity leave, so she went to an employment tribunal. It ruled that the issue had to be decided by the ECJ.

A spokesman for the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills said that there were no plans to change the law regarding people who have a child through surrogacy.

Natalie Gamble has stated 'We hope the case will make a significant difference, although it is unlikely to do so for some time'. Read more about surrogacy law at www.prideangel.com

Article: By Ben Leach, 18 March 2012 www.telegraph.co.uk

Older mums who wait until after they have a career, are more likely to 'over-prepare' for their first-born and struggle when things don't go as planned, a study suggest; often leading to an increase in postnatal depression. The findings are of great significance in the UK, where an increasing number of women are choosing to delay becoming a mum until they are more financially secure.

Research leader Silje Marie Haga, from the University of Oslo, in Norway, said: 'There are some indications that older, first-time mums are vulnerable to postpartum depression, perhaps because they are used to being in control of their own lives: they have completed a long education and established a career before they have children.

'But you can’t control a baby; on the contrary, you have to be extremely flexible. 'Several of the women I interviewed said themselves that this contributed to the huge feeling of letdown when things did not turn out as they had planned.'

In the UK, there were 26,976 babies born to mothers of 40 and over in 2009, compared with 9,336 in 1989, according to the Office for National Statistics figures. The latest study analysed surveys from around 350 new mothers as well as in-depth interviews with 12 first-time mothers. It found 16.5 per cent reported suffering from depression for up to six months after giving birth.

Ms Haga said the interviews highlighted a number of risk factors apart from biological ones. 'It’s not the need for control in itself, but rather the failure to achieve specific expectations that can trigger a depression,' she said. 'In contrast, women who take a more relaxed approach to motherhood with more undefined expectations cope better with unexpected challenges.'

Other women struggled after the delivery left them 'feeling like a failure'. One new mother told Ms Haga she struggled after having an unplanned caesarean section: 'That wasn’t how I was supposed to have a baby. I was so tired and so disappointed, I was so sad,' she said.

'I hadn’t been able to give birth to my baby; someone had to do it for me.' 'In my study the women who had the greatest need for control often had the strongest wish to have a natural birth,' Ms Haga noted.

She added that difficulties with breast feeding could also trigger baby blues as there is a huge societal pressure to choose breast over bottle. Ms Haga said new mums needed both practical and emotional support - particularly from their partner - as well as an understanding that life can be exhausting for them.

It is common that three-four days after the birth women experience what can be referred to as postpartum blues, i.e. they cry very easily without quite knowing the reason. This can last up to a week, but in some cases it continues. If this is so, there may be talk of postpartum depression, which resembles other kinds of depression with feelings of hopelessness, sadness, exhaustion and sleep problems also when the child is asleep.

'These women are unable to enjoy having a baby. Being depressed at precisely this period is an extra emotional burden to bear because of expectations that you should be happy,' Ms Haga said.

She added that women are often reluctant to ask for help because they still think there is a stigma attached to depression. Ms Haga is now developing a web-based program with a mental health centre in Norway that will monitor pregnant and new mums from the 22nd week of pregnancy and up to six months after the birth.

They hope that the program will support women during this very sensitive phase and potentially prevent postpartum depression.

Article: 20th March 2012 www.dailymail.co.uk

Read more about fertility and getting pregnant quicker at www.prideangel.com

The Court of Appeal in London has ruled unanimously that a gay man who fathered a child for a lesbian couple is not a secondary parent, allowing him greater access to his two-year-old son. As the judge who granted permission to appeal wrote, the case raises 'important issues relating to the courts' approach to children born into "alternative families" and the relationship of such children with their fathers'.

In giving the lead judgment at the Court of Appeal, Lord Justice Thorpe ruled that although the lesbian couple desired to bring up the child as a two-parent nuclear family, the father's commitment to the child since birth suggested he was seeking a 'relationship of considerable value'.

The father, known as A, married the biological mother, B, in 2007 in order to appease her family who had difficulties accepting her sexual orientation. There was no intention of cohabitation between A and B.

A had agreed prior to the pregnancy that he would not assert his paternal rights and that the lesbian couple would be the primary carers for the child. They agreed the child would reside with B and her partner, C, and A's role as the biological father would remain secondary. The women were reportedly concerned about the impact any greater role of the father would have on their relationship and that with the child.

The parties' dispute over contact arrangements was heard by the Family Division last July, where the judge upheld the women's case, albeit extending A's contact hours to one meeting per week of five hours. Judge Jenkins expressed reluctance to fracture what is described in the judgment as a nuclear family’.

Lord Justice Thorpe took a different view, saying 'it is generally accepted that a child gains by having two parents'. He added that 'it does not follow from that that the addition of a third is necessarily disadvantageous'.

The court said the arrangements made before the birth of the child did not necessarily hold sway in the life of the child. 'Human emotions are powerful and inconstant', said Lord Justice Thorpe. 'What the adults look forward to before undertaking the hazards of conception, birth and the first experience of parenting may prove to be illusion or fantasy'.

He added that although it had been suggested by the courts that contact should reflect the role agreed by the parties, the primary purpose remains to promote the welfare of the child. He cautioned against B and C's wish to form a 'two parent lesbian nuclear family' without any contact with A. 'Such desires may be essentially selfish and may later insufficiently weigh the welfare and developing rights of the child that they have created', he said.

Lady Justice Black, also hearing the appeal, highlighted the difficulties faced by the courts in this area. She said the courts 'continue to struggle to evolve a principled approach to cases such as this one'. However, she concluded, although guidance would be helpful, all cases were fact specific. 'This is an area of family law in which generalised guidance is not possible', she said.

Sperm donors who donate through an licensed clinic are not regarded as being legally responsible for any children born as a result of their donation under UK law. However, this law does not apply to arrangements made outside licensed clinics.

Lord Justice Thorpe refused to endorse the concept of principal and secondary parents being developed by the family courts, saying, 'it has the danger of demeaning the known donor and in some cases they may have an important role'.

A's case will now go to the High Court Family Division for a judge to reassess the level of contact with his son.

Article: 20th March 2012 www.bionews.co.uk

Read more about the law when using a known sperm donor at www.prideangel.com

Happy mother’s day to all the new mums out there. We at Pride Angel wish you wonderful day full of fun and love with your new bundles of joy.

If you have being trying for a baby for a while becoming a new mum or mums does feel extra special, and the gift of a baby feels even more precious.

We want to say a big thank you to all of you who have recently sent in your baby photos, please take a look at all the beautiful baby pictures in our gallery.

Our baby photo competition is open to everyone and gives you a chance of winning a £50 mothercare voucher for the winner and a £20 mothercare voucher for the runner up.

If you would like to submit your baby’s photo, please email it to us; click here to find out more about it.

Choosing the winner will be a difficult decision so please help us by letting us know your favourite, just contact us giving the name and age of the baby you would like to win.

And for all you hoping to become mums in the near future we wish you much happiness in your journey to parenthood.

Are you single, lesbian or infertile? and want to have a baby? Find out more at www.prideangel.com

Pregnant women who use mobile phones may be putting their babies at risk of developing behavioural problems, scientists have warned.

Researchers from Yale University found exposure to radiation from mobiles during pregnancy affects the brain development of offspring, potentially leading to greater activity, anxiety and poor memory.

They concluded mobiles could have a negative effect on babies in the womb after studying pregnant mice. However, a group of British scientists have poured scorn on the study labeling it 'alarmist and unjustified.'

They pointed out that the unborn mice would have received a dose of radiation that was proportionally far higher than an unborn baby would get. They added that while the whole bodies of the mice were exposed a pregnant woman would tend to hold their phone a metre away from their uterus.

The experts, from the University College of London, among others, added that a comparison is impossible between rodents and humans because mice are born after just 19 days with a brain that's at a far earlier stage of development compared to human babies.

The introduction of the Yale study, published in the latest issue of the journal Scientific Reports, focuses on the rising number of ADHD cases in children, implying it could be linked to their research in mice.

ADHD is a development disorder characterised by inattention, hyperactivity and impulsiveness. Between three and seven per cent of school-age children suffer from the disorder. Affected children tend to perform poorly at school and are at increased risk of delinquency.

Diagnosis has increased at an average rate of three per year since 1997, making the condition 'a growing public concern,' according to the scientists. The researchers measured the brain electrical activity of adult mice that were exposed to radiation as foetuses and conducted a series of psychological and behavioural tests.

They found that the mice that were exposed to radiation tended to be more hyperactive and had increased anxiety and reduced memory capacity. Senior author Professor Hugh Taylor said: 'We have shown that behavioural problems in mice that resemble ADHD are caused by mobile phone exposure in the womb.

'The rise in behavioural disorders in human children may be in part due to foetal cellular telephone irradiation exposure.' In the study the authors concluded human tests would be needed before 'extrapolating these behavioural findings to humans.' But Prof Taylor, who is a member of EHHI - an organisation 'dedicated to protecting human health from environmental harms through research' - added that limiting a foetus' exposure to mobile phone radiation seemed warranted.

However, Professor Jim Stevenson from the University of Southampton denounced the study as 'irresponsible.' He told the UK charitable trust, Sense about Science: 'There is to date only little evidence of an association,' adding that no evidence from the latest mouse study supported the conjecture.

Professor Katya Rubia, from the Institute of Psychiatry at King's College London, added that the link made between mice and humans was 'alarmist and unjustified.'

She said the fact the exposed mice in the study were more active could not be translated to complex disorders such as ADHD. She pointed out that anxiety levels decreased in exposed mice whereas it is typically higher in children with ADHD. Professor Eric Taylor from King's College London said the rate of ADHD problems has actually been steady for more than 20 years and any increase is most probably due to greater recognition of the disorder.

A spokesman from the Health Protection Agency, told Mail Online: 'There is no hard scientific evidence that radio signals from mobile phones pose a risk to public health providing they are within ICNIRP (international body) guidelines.

'Very many studies into the effects of radio waves on health have been published over the past several decades. The authors of this study acknowledge themselves that their work had certain limitations. 'The Health Protection Agency constantly monitors and reviews this scientific research and will consider this study, along with other peer reviewed research, as part of that process.'

The latest controversial study comes just two years after scientists from the University of California, Los Angeles, found children exposed to mobile phones in the womb had a 30 per cent rise in behavioural difficulties at the age of seven. The study looked at 29,000 youngsters, but some British scientists said the findings could be due to lifestyle factors rather than mobiles. They pointed out that mothers glued to their mobiles may very well be less likely to interact as much with their children.

Article: 16th March 2012 www.dailymail.co.uk

Read more about getting pregnant and fertility at www.prideangel.com

Lesbian couple talk to Chicago Tribune about their experiences of becoming parents:

At first glance, Jennifer Snyder and Linda Borchew could not have been more different. Borchew grew up in Des Plaines and is Jewish. Snyder was raised Presbyterian in a one-stoplight town in central Illinois.

Back in 1997, they were students with a shared passion for women's softball. Their relationship started like many: a deep friendship that blossomed into something more.

Ten years later — on Jan. 4, 2007 — the high school administrators married at Niagara Falls, Canada, and they settled into blissful domesticity on a quiet residential street in Hoffman Estates.

"My dad said that the hardest part was that he'd never get to be a grandfather," Snyder said. But the women, now 37, had no intention of forgoing parenthood. Still, it took five years and more than $50,000 to reach their goal. Said Borchew: "We had no idea what we were in for."

Thirty years ago, same-sex couples started having children in ever-increasing numbers. Today, they still face a mixed bag of challenges when forming families, whether by adoption or reproductive technology, advocates say.

While some of the obstacles Borchew and Snyder encountered were no different than those experienced by infertile straight couples, others were a result of the nation's patchwork laws and lingering hurdles for same-sex couples. The couple gave the Tribune an inside look at the highs and lows on the path to parenthood for same-sex partners.

Currently, 19 percent of gay men and almost 50 percent of lesbians have a child, according to the the National Opinion Research Center's 2008 General Social Survey. As more states recognize same-sex marriage — Maryland became the eighth this month — while others have murky laws, the number of potential child-rearing headaches are bound to increase, experts say.

For Borchew and Snyder, their status informed nearly all their decision-making, such as where they'd deliver, lest they find themselves at a hospital that didn't recognize their union.

"If you create your family and don't fit into a typical pattern, you're going to have some holes in your legal relationship that you didn't even know about," said Jill Metz, a Chicago attorney who specializes in lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender cases. "It's a constantly evolving and very tricky situation."

In the beginning, the women knew they'd need hefty resources to have a baby. They didn't realize that they'd need deep reservoirs of patience, as well. First, they struggled to find an OB/GYN willing to do inseminations, as some medical personnel are uncomfortable working with gays or lesbians, they said.

"There's a reason that many lesbians make jokes about using a turkey baster at home," Snyder noted dryly. Eventually, they found their way to Chicago Women's Health Center, where Borchew's eggs were combined with donor sperm, then implanted into her womb.

Read more ....

Article: 14th March 2012 www.chicagotribune.com

Read more about lesbian parenting and finding a sperm donor.

The child support system in the United States is a mess. Too many states follow formulas that don't serve the needs of individual families and leave many non-custodial parents feeling stripped of their rights while many custodial parents feel they are forced to wait and wait through bureaucratic processes before receiving their money. There are some single parents who are happy with the way child support works, but they are hard to come by.

Chukwudera B. Okoli is a man in Massachusetts (I hesitate to even call him a "father") who has every right to hate the system right now. Currently, he's being forced to pay child support to the children born via IVF to Blessing Okoli, his former wife.

The story is so unfair, it will make you want to scream. But the issues it raises are even more troubling. Are sperm donors fathers now?

Even in the case of an anonymous sperm donor, the child support may be in the best interest of the children. After all, children need the support of two parents. But morally it's wrong. Isn't a man a person, too? Don't they have rights? What kind of mother purposely creates and gives birth to a child (or children) she can't afford and then changes her mind about an agreement?

Our legal system shouldn't be supporting such irresponsible behavior.

Biology doesn't make a person a father. That is done through late nights and changing diapers and school plays and cuddles. But the court says otherwise. The court says regardless of whether you and the mother signed an agreement, a person is legally obligated to support their offspring with their money whether they're involved with the children or not.

No one is going to donate sperm anymore if this is the kind of thing that happens. Okoli's case may be unique in that he was once married to the mom, but in the end, he is a donor and just a donor. Just like the anonymous ones in a sperm bank. Here is a man thinking he is doing a good thing and he gets sued for child support. It's so wrong.

The bottom line is that a single woman shouldn't have children she can't afford on her own. Part of good parenting is making good decisions for your family. Why would you have kids you can't afford?

An anonymous sperm donor -- or any sperm donor -- is not a father and no amount of child support can make him one. In the family court, every decision is made in the best interest of a child, but parents are people, too. They have rights. This tramples on men's rights and it makes women look incompetent. If you can't afford a child, for God's sake, don't have one.

Child support may make sense legally, but morally it's an absolute mess.

Article: 8th March 2012 by Sasha Brown-Worsham www.thestir.cafemom.com