Pride Angel

Today is the start of National Adoption Week – Have you ever considering adopting a child? Thousands of children are taken into care every year. Of these many are never lucky enough to become part of a secure loving long-term family. This important week reminds us there are kids out there waiting to be taken in by someone who will make them part of their own family and give them the ‘forever home’ they are longing for.

If you have ever considered the option of adopting, you need to be over 21, patient, and dedicated to offering someone lifelong love and support. It's a huge responsibility, but one that comes with great rewards. For more information about the adoption process click here.

The campaign also asks adopted people over 18 and parents of adopted children to come forward and help out. Possible activities include writing to your local newspaper; putting up posters; writing an adoption blog; doing your own fundraising challenge, or rounding up loved ones to talk them about your individual experiences with adoption. For more information on how you can help, go to the National Adoption Week website for more information.

Also in celebration of National Adoption Week 2011 they are encouraging anyone who is over 18 and has a connection with adoption to enter a short film. It has to be creative and inspiring – you don’t have to own professional equipment to take part, it could even be filmed on a mobile phone. None of that matters – all that matters is that it stands out and fulfils the aims. Once the winner is announced the winner will be awarded in London. Click here for competition details.

If adoption isn’t for you, have you ever considered having a family through co-parenting or using a known sperm or egg donor? Visit www.prideangel.com for more information

Calderdale Pride and Bar Place will be teaming up for the first heat of Pride’s Got Talent on Saturday 3rd December.

Pride Secretary Vikki Kitson said “We’re opening things up this time around and giving people a say in who and what they want to see onstage at Pride 2012”.

“This contest is a first for us, and we’re especially keen to invite bands, singers, dancers, comedians, drag and cabaret acts along”. “The audience on the night will be invited to vote for their favourite performer or performers, with the winner or winners of the first heat going through to the semi-finals in February”.

“If you consider yourself to be a natural talent or even if you just enjoy performing for fun, then please contact us to register”. The overall winner of Calderdale Pride’s Got Talent will win themselves a £100 cash prize and the opportunity to perform centre-stage at Calderdale Pride 2012 on Saturday 16th June.

“Over 9,000 people attended Calderdale Pride in 2011, and we fully expect to match that in 2012. This is an incredible opportunity for anyone who wants to perform in a great venue before a fantastic crowd, and alongside an incredible stage line-up” Vikki added.

The first heat will be held at Bar Place Hotel and Restaurant, Hebden Bridge on Saturday 3rd December from 7.30pm. All entrants must be over 18 years of age.

Vikki can be contacted by email at: calderdalepridesecretary@o2email.co.uk

Or alternatively contact us at Pride Angel for more information.

In his new autobiography, the former mayor of London reveals that he helped two friends get pregnant. John Walsh imagines his donation credentials

In his autobiography, You Can't Say That, Ken Livingstone reveals that, in the early 1990s, while living with his long-term partner Kate Allen, he was asked by two women if he would father their children. He obliged with enthusiasm and triumphant success. He gave the first woman, the journalist Philippa Need, a daughter in August 1990 and a son in September 1992. Around the same time, he also helped out Jan Woolf, a teacher and political activist, who gave birth to Livingstone's second son in November 1992, just weeks after the first.

The former, and indeed possibly future, Mayor of London made it clear that in each case he was doing a favour for a friend, "be[ing] around, taking an interest" in the children and "supporting them emotionally", but not living with the mothers.

Ten years later, after his relationship with Allen had ended, and he had got together with Emma Beal, another journalist, he became the proud father of two more children. Despite the potentially awkward convergence of dates in 1992 – which suggest that, while co-habiting with one woman, he impregnated two others simultaneously – the outcome was a happy one, with all three mothers and all five children enjoying summer holidays together.

There is something splendidly patriarchal – something tribal, Mormonite, sultanic – about Livingstone's cheerful polygamous arrangements, and about the casual, even humdrum, way he describes them in his autobiography. It's piquant to find this Lambeth-born working-class hero and Labour MP for Brent East beginning the 1990s by emulating King Mswati III of Swaziland, who had 23 children by 14 wives.

It is an admirable, if not objectively explicable, thing that at least three women were so impressed by his political commitment and strength of character that they settled on him (sometimes not once but twice) to be the ideal father for their babies. But would Livingstone be the ideal sperm donor for everyone? Were he to fill in a form on a donor website, how would it read?

Article: 25th October 2011 Read more www.independent.co.uk

Looking for a sperm donor or co-parent? visit www.prideangel.com

Recent articles in the news have highlighted the downsides of using unregulated sperm donor websites, portraying them as placing vulnerable women at risk. Is this really the case or is sperm donation online providing a much needed service, which is not being met by fertility clinics alone? Often highlighted are the occasions when male donors try to abuse the system by requesting payments or offering natural insemination (in other words sex) as the best method of conception.

Unfortunately some online forums seem to be dominated by donors chatting to each other and boasting about the number of children they have conceived. There is certainly a downside, which individuals must be aware of when trying to find a known donor. Finding a known donor or co-parent can be like trying to meet a lifelong partner - unfortunately along the journey you may have to encounter men or women which are not likeminded and who you do not connect with, before eventually finding the right one.

This said, despite the media's negative tilt, the option of using a known donor has many upsides, which is why it is becoming such a popular option for many single, gay or infertile couples. So what are the advantages? The obvious one may be cost, with IVF funding being cut by so many regions throughout the UK, many single people or couples may simply not be able to afford fertility treatment through a clinic. However after speaking with Erika the co-founder of Pride Angel, a leading parenting connection website, she believes that this is not the main reason people go down the online sperm donor route.

Erika says ‘Many women choose a connection service, because they want more information about the donor than they receive at a clinic’, ‘They want to understand their personality and mannerisms, after all the donor is going to make up 50% of the child’s genes’. ‘Many single women and lesbian couples, also wish for their child to know of their donor, they want to maintain contact, be it occasional or on a regular basis’ ‘The important factor is educating people about any potential risks and providing the necessary support and guidance regarding health risks and legal rights’.

An article in the Telegraph today wrote‘These unregulated sites are so popular that the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) last week announced plans to increase payments made to sperm and egg donors in the hope that this will increase the number of regulated donations’ Connection websites are not obliged to be regulated in any way, unless they are involving themselves in the procurement of gametes. Websites which act purely as connection services put the responsibility, rightly so, on the users to make their own informed decision regarding whether they choose to take their donor to a clinic for treatment or undertake artificial insemination following suitable health screening checks by their GP.

There are dozens of websites providing a donor connection service, however many of these websites do not monitor their donors or control the numbers of connections between donors and recipients. This is why when choosing a website it is important to use one who is being responsible. Speaking with Erika from Pride Angel, she said ‘We are one of the only connection services worldwide who constantly monitor profiles and we suspend any users who are not meeting our criteria’. ‘No mention of natural insemination, payments, shipping of sperm or anonymous donation is allowed. Any users which break this ‘code of conduct’ are suspended.’ ‘Pride Angel also uses a limited message credit system which means, that not only can donors only contact a limited number of recipients, but is also means that donors are more likely to be genuine’.

There have also been many stories in the news recently from donor-conceived children, about their search to find their origins. For some it may be a happy ending, but for many more it is not. With the change in the anonymity law in 2005, we will not be able to see the effects of children wishing to meet their donors, conceived through fertility clinics until 2023. What will be the effect of these reunions? Will there be the issue of rejection by donors or even the devastating possibility of genetic attraction, which has already been estimated to occur in 50% of cases between adopted children and their biological parents or siblings? Genetic attraction tends to only occur when there has not been any previous contact throughout a child’s upbringing with their donor or sibling and does not occur between known donors and their biological children.

Many women are also now considering finding their own egg donor through a donor website, especially when there are such long waiting times for egg donors within the UK, Some recipients wish to meet the donor to find out more about them, and likewise egg donors feel happier donating to a women or couple who they believe will provide a happy environment for their donor offspring. Speaking with one egg donor, they said ‘I was able to select the family to who my eggs were donated to, we had several meetings and together we decided that they would like to tell their child from a young age. I agreed that they are welcome to come round anytime. Their child is now 5 and I have met him 6 times in total. Although genetically he is my child I will never be his mother nor would I ever want that position, I simply helped a wonderful couple become a family.’

A donor conceived child said ‘I know where my genetic mother is and can visit her if I would like to, but my real mother is the mum that brought me up'. Another donor-conceived child said ‘I know who my dad is, even if I only see him occasionally, that means I am no different to any of my friends at school'.

‘Pride Angel receives numerous thank you messages from recipients who have eventually found the right donor and from men who have been able to become parents themselves through co-parenting arrangements’

Surely a solution is for women to be able to use known donors, even if they are found through website connection services, so they can pass on more information to their children about their origins. After all, it is the children’s welfare which is of paramount importance.

Article: 25th October 2011 www.prideangel.com

Register for free as a sperm donor, egg donor, co-parent or recipient at Pride Angel

The Independent on Sunday readers were asked to nominate their unsung heroes and heroines who make life as a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender person better – as well as the celebrities who make the world a more entertaining place. Readers responded by sending in more than 1,500 nominations, which boiled down to about 300 separate names.

These were poured over by their panel of expert judges, including two who represented their parties in parliament, two who have represented their countries at sports, a magazine editor, a comedian, four tireless campaigners and a HM Procurator-General.

This years winner was Music teacher, Elly Barnes
Dozens of people emailed The IoS to tell them about Elly Barnes, the teacher who claims the exceptional achievement of eradicating homophobia in her school, and is now helping others to do the same. Some of those who nominated Barnes had worked with her on her "Educate and Celebrate" course for teachers, PGCE students and psychologists, run under the auspices of Ofsted; others are students, past and present. One former pupil said this woman changed her life.

Elly Barnes is so articulate and lively, and so dedicated to educating young people about the importance of accepting ourselves as we are, that it was only a matter of time before she made national headlines.

As music teacher and LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender) co-ordinator at Stoke Newington School, she believes that to achieve acceptance, young people need the facts. She says: "It's ignorance that causes homophobia - once educated, attitudes change. Sometimes it's a deep-rooted hatred which can take a long time to change. The best way is to show positive role models."

This can involve using shock tactics, like when she invited black lesbian rapper, Mz.Fontaine to a school assembly. Elly recalls: "She announced straightaway 'I am currently a lesbian and I am transitioning'. "The students were amazed. Mz.Fontaine then spent an afternoon delivering music workshops which were attended by some previously homophobic girls. Together they wrote a 12-minute rap about diversity."

Elly put Hackney's innovative approach to diversity on the national agenda last October when the Guardian ran an article about how lessons on gay history had cut homophobic bullying at the school. "I've been doing this for six years," she says. "When the article came out I got 300 e-mails from schools and parents asking for advice."

Elly has just taken on a new challenge - running diversity sessions for teachers all over the country, helping them to challenge prejudice and celebrate diversity in the classroom.

She adds: "Some schools think they don't have to do it, but they do. Schools have a duty to protect young people and create an environment where staff and students feel safe to be themselves."

Read the names of the other winners and the full Pink List 2011 here

Men have ticking biological clocks too, as IVF study shows male fertility declines with age - with even a year making a difference, researchers have warned.

They say that after the age of 41, a man’s odds of fathering a child decline rapidly. And after 45, those who haven’t started a family and want one should start doing something about it.

But with the likes of Des O’Connor having his fifth child at 72, and Rod Stewart becoming father for the eighth time at the age of 66, other experts said the finding should be taken with a pinch of salt.

The warning comes from a study of IVF patients in which the man’s sperm fertilised an egg from a donor. In the context of the study, the use of donor eggs allowed the researchers to separate out the effect of the man’s age from that of the woman’s.

The donor eggs all came from young, healthy women and so any differences in pregnancy rate must be due to the sperm. And the difference was clear, with fertility declining by up to seven per cent with each extra year on a man’s age between 41 and 45. After that, it declined even more rapidly.

The average age of the men whose partners got treatment through IVF was 41. But the average age of those in which the IVF was unsuccessful was 45, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine’s annual conference heard. The chances of pregnancy fell from 60 per cent at the age of 41 to just 35 per cent for the 45-year-olds.

Researcher Paula Fettback, of the Huntington Medicina Reproductiva clinic in Brazil, said: ‘Age counts ‘Men have a biological clock too. It is not the same as for women but they can’ t wait forever to have children. ‘They have to think about having children, especially after 45.’

A second study presented at the conference backed up the warning. There, fertility plummeted in male mice from a year old – equivalent to middle-age in people. Fewer eggs were fertilised and fewer embryos grew long enough to be used in IVF.

Pregnancies took longer to occur and when they did, the miscarriage rate rocketed from zero using sperm from young animals, to over 60 per cent. The researchers, from the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine, said they believed there would be ‘some parallel’ with men.

‘We found an abrupt reproductive deterioration in mid-life, equivalent to humans in their 40s.’ Other studies have found that children of older fathers also run an increased risk of heart defects, autism, schizophrenia and epilepsy, and are almost twice as likely to die before adulthood.

While men constantly make fresh sperm, the ‘machinery’ that makes it can slow down and become defective over time. In addition, genetic errors may creep into sperm as men get older. But other experts said advised would-be fathers not to worry.

Dr Richard Sherbahn, of the Advanced Fertility Center of Chicago, said that while it is likely that male fertility does decline, any difference is likely to be just a few per cent over decades. He added that IVF can compensate for many problems in sperm, in a way that it can’t with eggs.

Charles Kingsland, a consultant gynaecologist at the Liverpool Women’s Hospital and member of the British Fertility Society, questioned the quality of the study and added that the quality of a woman’s eggs is far more important. He advised men who want to stay in good reproductive shape to eat healthily, not smoke, drink only in moderation, keep active and avoid hot baths, as sperm likes cool temperatures.

He added: ‘There are a lot of advantages to being a young father. First and foremost, you’ve got energy. But being an older father also confers certain advantages – stability, wisdom, maybe a bit of financial security but you don’t have the energy. ‘I wouldn’t go rushing off to procreate on the basis that tomorrow my fertility might drop.’

Article: 20th October 2010 www.dailymail.co.uk

Read more about male sperm count tests at www.prideangel.com

HFEA agrees new policies to improve sperm and egg donation services, by increasing payments for sperm and egg donors.

The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) has today made a number of important decisions on sperm and egg donation in the UK. This follows an extensive public consultation, ‘Donating sperm and eggs: have your say’, which ran from January to April 2011.

The Authority has agreed to take a proactive approach to donor recruitment, retention and care by working with the IVF sector, professional bodies and voluntary organisations to raise awareness, improve the care of donors and ensure that donation continues to take place within a safe and ethical environment.

Addressing concerns about treating donors fairly and valuing their contribution, as well as the need to retain donors and keep paperwork to a minimum, the Authority has also agreed to change the compensation that donors can receive. Moving away from the current system of out of pocket expenses and a loss of earnings allowance capped at £250, clinics will in the future be able to offer donors compensation which better reflects their expenses.

The new scheme will include: For sperm donors, a fixed sum of £35 per visit including expenses
For egg donors, a fixed sum of £750 per cycle of donation including expenses
Professor Lisa Jardine, Chair of the HFEA, said today:

‘In looking at donation we have focused on what it means to people – to those born of assisted reproduction, to donors, to patients wanting desperately to have a baby and to the public in general. We are convinced that it is right to look at compensation not in terms of crude sums but in terms of the value of donation.’

‘My Authority has set a level of compensation which will not deter those interested in donation but will retain donors already in the system, without attracting those who are merely financially motivated.’

‘We have consulted widely and listened carefully to what we were told by the large number of patients, donors, donor-conceived people and clinics who responded to our consultation. My Authority has been careful to balance the interests of all involved in the donation process. We know that any one change that we make to our policies is unlikely completely to solve current problems in the donation system. That’s why we have decided to capitalise on our unique position by actively helping the sector to attract and retain donors, use their donations to their full and ensure that donors are well cared for and valued.’

Benefits in kind
The HFEA also considered benefits in kind in which people are allowed to receive treatment services in return for donation of their sperm or eggs to treatment or research, commonly known as egg sharing.

Current guidance focuses almost exclusively on egg sharing arrangements in exchange for IVF, yet treatment services which can be offered are broader than this, including storage and moving up the waiting list.

The HFEA has decided that this should be allowed to continue, but that current guidance should be reviewed with a view to making it clear to clinics what benefits might be included.

Article: 19th October 2011 www.hfea.co.uk

Read more about donating sperm or eggs at www.prideangel.com

The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) will decide whether to increase the level of compensation paid to sperm donors and egg donors, tomorrow. It is illegal for donor to be paid within the UK, but currently they may receive up to £250 per course or cycle of donation, plus travel expenses. Many experts in the field believe that these modest payments may be holding potential donors back at a time of real shortage.

In an attempt to increase sperm and egg donors, the HFEA will decide upon a suggested increase, giving egg donors £750 a time – as they do in Spain – while adopting the Danish system of £35 per donation for men. Over a donation course this could amount to at least £450. But before you decide to rush to the local clinic to cash in, be warned this extra money reflects the fact that there is much more to donation than most people think.

The National Gamete Donation Trust says that women must undergo a series of tests to donate their eggs (including psychological and blood pressure), before being given courses of hormones to suppress their menstrual cycle and then stimulate the growth and maturation of eggs. The eggs are then harvested under either general or local anesthetic, through a needle injected into the vagina. Therefore any increase in compensation would be intended to reflect this commitment.

Donating sperm through a clinic does not simply involve being sent off into a room with a magazine and cup. Rather blood samples are taken, sperm is tested and donors will then be asked to attend the clinic once or twice a week for three to four months (abstaining from sex and alcohol for three to five days before each visit). After six months, donors are tested once more to make sure they had not contracted any infections at the time of giving the donations (as some infections do not show for several months).

Donors must then seriously consider the fact that any child created from donor sperm or eggs now has the right to know of their donor’s identity. With all this involved, it's a wonder the price is not much higher, but as said by the National Donation Trust, money is far from the point for donors: "People do this through the kindness of their hearts to help others."

Article extracts: 17th October 2011 www.guardian.co.uk

Read more about donating sperm or eggs to a couple of your choice at www.prideangel.com

Are you considering having a baby?
Maybe you are finding it difficult getting pregnant. Whether you wish to know how fertile you are, considering sperm donation, egg donation or IVF, then why not visit The Fertility Show, 4-5th November Olympia, London.

When Friday 4 November 2011: 10am - 6pm
Saturday 5 November 2011: 10am - 5pm

Where Olympia 2, Hammersmith Road, London W14. Olympia is located in the centre of London on Hammersmith Road, near High Street Kensington

Just thinking about starting a family or been trying for ages? Find out what you need to know at The Fertility Show.
- 100 exhibitors
- 60 talks from experts
- Medical and complementary alternatives
- Leading UK and overseas clinics
- Fertility assessments and treatments
- Advice for everyone including single women and same sex parents
- A successful and proven event, now in its 3rd year

For those just thinking of having a baby:
- Zita West on how to get pregnant
- Marilyn Glenville on fertility-boosting nutrition
- Charles Kingsland on preparing for pregnancy
- Testing your ovarian reserve
For people finding it difficult to get pregnant:
- The main approaches to treatment
- The fertility rollercoaster
- What men need to know about their fertility
- Tackling particular problems and scenarios

For those considering IVF:
- How to choose a clinic
- Treatment abroad
- What the NHS will pay for
- Improving the odds

Britain's leading fertility specialists on:
- Reduced ovarian reserve
- Egg freezing and reproductive surgery
- PCOS, recurrent miscarriage, endometriosis
- Complementary medicine
- Specific advice for single women, older women and alternative parenting
- International surrogacy and donors abroad
- Coping strategies and managing relationships through treatment

Book your tickets for The Fertility Show here.

Pride Angel will be exhibiting at The Fertility Show this year, so why not come along and have a chat with us about using a known sperm donor egg donor or home insemination, visit us at 'Stand 20'.

For more information on sperm donation, egg donation, IVF and gay parenting visit www.prideangel.com

Parents Michelle and Paul (names changed) spoke to BBC Radio 4′s World at One today about their experiences of international surrogacy, and the problems with surrogacy law in the UK. Their legal case (in which we represented them successfully) was reported anonymously by the High Court last December (as Re L (a minor) 2010) and received national press coverage at the time. Michelle and Paul took the brave decision today to speak about their personal experiences, in order to highlight the difficulties they have faced.

As Michelle and Paul explained, they entered into a surrogacy arrangement in Illinois after a very long and difficult journey of failed IVF and miscarriages. They did so in accordance with the law in Illinois and underwent a thorough vetting process with a clear legal procedure designed to protect all involved. Under Illinois law, they were treated as the legal parents of their child from the outset.

However, UK law treated their surrogate and her husband as the legal parents, despite the fact that neither had any biological connection with the child. Michelle and Paul therefore needed an English High Court order to become Mum and Dad in the UK.

One of the key issues for the court here to consider was the mismatch between UK and Illinois law regarding the issue of payments to their surrogate. In Illinois, payments for a surrogate’s inconvenience and discomfort can legitimately be made, although payments for a child are not allowed. In the UK, the law refers to ‘reasonable expenses’ (with no definition of what that means) but confusingly also gives the court a specific power to ‘authorise’ other payments. Ultimately in this case Mr Justice Hedley, noting that Michelle and Paul were the ‘most careful and conscientious of parents’, agreed to authorise the payments so that they could be approved as legal parents. However, he did not accept that the inconvenience payments to their surrogate were reasonable expenses.

It’s a story with a happy outcome, but one which shows that working out what is acceptable to pay for surrogacy at home and abroad is tricky.

In Illinois there is a clear legal framework in which payments are agreed and set out in writing at the outset (following counselling, psychological assessments and legal advice for all). If everything is done correctly at the outset, then the child is a part of the intended parents’ family throughout.

There is no such certainty under UK law. Every judge can interpret what is ‘reasonable’ differently, and the issue will only be considered after the birth of the child when the payments have been long since made, by which time there will always be tremendous pressure on the court to make an order protecting the child’s welfare. As Michelle pointed out so poignantly, the value paid to the surrogate in this case was in fact no more than what has been accepted as being reasonable expenses for surrogacy in the UK, but it was not considered expenses in their case because the arrangement was an international one set up within a different legal framework.

We are left asking – where the values being paid for surrogacy are comparable, does it make any sense to treat them differently just because they are called compensation rather than expenses, and just because they are agreed in writing at the outset? Would it not be better to have a more upfront system in the UK which resolves these issues at the start, rather than after the event?

You can hear the interview at www.bbc.co.uk

Article: October 2011 by www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk

Read more about surrogacy law.